


This is Me, Thinking You're Useless

by Blurble



Category: Aveyond
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:18:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blurble/pseuds/Blurble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because that's definitely the only thing Lars thinks of when he thinks of Rhen</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Me, Thinking You're Useless

"I can handle this, back off, slave girl," He says, shoving his way between her and the chicken.  
  
"Oh, go cry in a corner why don't you," he says, sending a flash of magic towards the wolf that has her cornered against a tree.   
  
"It's not like I'm saying you're weak or anything, it's just that-- no, actually, you're totally weak, what am I saying," he says, when his Lightning Strike downs the griffin.  
  
"S-stupid ox got lucky," he says, spitting out blood and a tooth, "Stop smirking at me, you only survived because I covered you-- AAUGH watch where you shove that potion you stupd freak!"  
  
"well, isn't this nostalgic," he says, "Just Rhen and Lars, fighting together, plus me keeping your useless butt alive"-- but he's panting heavily from the exertion of keeping the slimes at bay with a steady stream of fireballs, covering her as she drags Elini's unconscious body to slump with Dameon's against a rock before turning her attention back to the fray.  
  
"Thanks for that save back there," he says, wiping the dirt and the blood off his face, "if I didn't known better I'd think you knew what you were doing with that whole flailing-around-with-a-sword thing," and with that he turns his attention back to stuffing a cassea leaf down the sun priest's throat (he likes to make it go deep enough that the prat would gag on his way back up).  
  
"Yes, well, you know how useless Rhen is, always managing to somehow get herself surrounded by a pack of hyenas all by herself, honestly sometimes it is more trouble than it's worth even trying to keep that girl alive-- What? No, of course I'm not jealous, I am very obviously far more suited to saving the world than she is, do you need your eyes fixed or something?!"  
  
"Oh, what's that, you need help finishing off this pack of monsters, what else is a LIGHTNING STORM for ahahahahahaha -- no I am not an evil villain that was not a cackle-- you know what you are stupid, alright? STUPID! Stop laughing at me! I am going to throw this mudball at you, I-- ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR IT! MUDFIGHT!" (and then they roll around laughing and every inch of their bodies aches and they are almost dead but they are alive, they are alive, they are alive--)  
  
"Seriously, idiot, you need to learn to take better care of yourself," he says, letting her head fall from his lap so fast you'd think he'd been stung, "you don't want people to have nasty things to say about former slaves and their ability to not suck at fighting, am I right? Of course I'm right, I'm always right-- Stop staring at me like that and eat your damn meatloaf."  
  
\--He coughs violently, wheezing for air and gesturing desperately for someone to get him a glass of water-- "Over-- overprotective? Of  _Rhen_? ME? I am not! I am NOT John if you don't stop laughing I am going to blast your head off-- Galahad-- IT BLOODY DOES EXIST AND YOU WILL BLOODY FEEL IT WHEN I TIME VORTEX YOU INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION IF YOU DON'T STOP GIGGLING LIKE A DERANGED TODDLER-- everyone here is insane, I have no idea why I am still with you guys-- Oh, hi Rhen, I didn't see you there, I am, um, I am, um, I just, um-- oh, never mind-- JOHN I WILL RIP YOUR ENTRAILS OUT WITH MY BARE HANDS I SWEAR."  
  
"Oh look, it's down to just the two of us again-- Wanna stay behind me for old time's sake? I'm kidding, I'm kidding, you take left flank, I'll take right, let's take down this big bad demon together, shall we?" 


End file.
